Gvozden, Y. Marlene, nee Jones - Tape One Side One

File consists of a recording of Marlene Gvozden. Topics of the conversation include TAPE ONE Factors influencing personal character: environment, innate qualities, position within family; secondary effort in own activities to prove herself capable to older family members. Environmental lesson from Saskatchewan ranch life, 'always get back and ride the horse that just threw you', applicable to riding, sister's long childbirth labour, exams, everything: 'you just don't give up'. Father's opinion that university was unnecessary for nubile young daughter; enrolment in secretarial course at parents' behest; compliance with course only because one degree was better than nothing; aggressive, ruthless approach of perfectionist instructress: 'I took a long time to rebuild myself after that experience'. Suggestion by Norwegian classmate that subject apply to Dept. of External Affairs; success in exam, acceptance by interviewer as young but exceptional. Father's willingness to advance funds for trip to Ottawa; realisation his attitude to her abilities was changing. Early desire to attend university, enlistment of mother's aid to petition father; mother's timidity in face of husband, acceptance of hometown minister's fear of reputed U. of Saskatchewan 'non-virgin club' as excuse for dropping the whole idea. Year in Ottawa, Carleton course in Canadian government, awaiting age of majority; secretarial posting to Oslo with Dept of External Affairs, under challenge to live up to responsibilities. Norway as an excellent first posting for a young member, sane, sensible, hygienic. Life-long indebtedness to Ambassador and Mrs. R.A. MacKay for encouragement and familial support; Mrs. MacKay's appreciation of personal intentions underlying appearances, 'balm to my soul' in company of small, unsupportive female staff; continuing impulse to live up to MacKays' faith in her, repay kindness by similar kindness to needy persons she encounters. Dr. MacKay as permanent delegate to UN, author of The Unreformed Senate of Canada . Embassy position as political education, social finishing school; previous superficial interest in politics; pleasure in work shifted onto her shoulders by 'reprehensible' incompetent boss, felt as 'a marvellous opportunity' for personal expansion. Father's motto, 'keep your mouth shut, your eyes and ears open'; helpful in Norway, not at university where 'you have to learn to ask questions: if you don't, you're at a disadvantage'. Comfort of MacKays' familial affection in times of loneliness. Subject's 'have-not' reverence for university degree status; enrolment at Queen's (aet. 24), 'let­ down' experience of not knowing what to do with it once she arrived there. Intervention of Dean Bryce to secure residence accommodation; love of Ban Righ atmosphere, regretted transfer to Adelaide Hall. Residence life as a corrective for subject's 'lone wolf' tendency; student interaction as a major contributing factor to university experience. Intellectual timidity, exclusion from 'hard-core intellectual achieving group' of contemporaries; disadvantaged feeling ('I felt my Saskatchewan antecedents') amongst intellectual student gathering at home of favourite professor Douglas LePan; social affinity with young professors' wives, awkward in view of inferior social status.//Participation in Queen's initiation 'nonsense' in effort to fit in; preference for more mature McGill community, enrolment at Queen's because of lower tuition rate, small town environment similar to Oslo. Subject's youthful dignity, not discarded till late twenties; importance of being young once, discarding inhibitions; 'if you don't do it on schedule, you have to come back'. Western Canadians as informal, 'unfettered', compared with Ontario's 'staid Protestants'; 'different flavour' deriving from roughneck element in prairie settlers, combined with European element; striking quality of WASP given names and surnames encountered at Queen's. Subject's Ontario relations. Triumph of redeeming herself in father's eyes through Norwegian experience; father's acceptance of subject as adult confidante, pride in her university achievement ('he cried through the entire graduation ceremony'). Cultural intermarriage among Westerners (none of self or 3 siblings married a WASP Canadian); agreement with Queen's Prof. Lower that 'the real Canadian came from the prairies'. Western anti-Quebec sentiment as a recent phenomenon, based on resentment of federal economic injustices. Vast national improvement in French-language education, increased student broadmindedness. Protest of 'redneck' label applied to Saskatchewan farmers. Horrid year in Grenoble, France; rudeness, cultural chauvinism, provincial self­importance of the French contrasted with French Canadian warmth, hospitality; admiration for French sense of humour, eloquence, 'the last people remaining who strive for elegance in their everyday speech'. Strong desire that Quebec should not separate, that Canada become a 'brilliant hybrid society' of English Canadian pragmatism, French Canadian creativity. Distinction between desperate 'daily bread' complaints from prairies, maritimes, and anguished cultural complaint of Quebec; sympathy for Quebec born of own experience as foreigner, appreciation of constrained deprivation of forced speech in a second language; difficulty of expressing humour in a foreign language, loss of a critical social and personal faculty. Childhood unawareness of prairie political movements (CCF); prairie farmers' strong individualism, father's luck and pride as 'the self-made man'; European/Ontario emigrant's attachment to his farm as his castle; defensive power of virtual motto, 'Get to hell off my land'. Husband as Yugoslavian Jew; doubts of Queen's acceptance of Jewishness; father's unprejudiced good sense, despite minimal education; national differences, 'in Washington, half the street is intermarried; in Saskatchewan, intermarriage meant a Catholic and a Protestant'. Dislike of sister's joke about doubtful acceptability of husband to sister's United Church associates. Jewish problems of assimilation; easiness of subject's marriage thanks to husband's orphan status, seniority, and subject's age (31), family eagerness to marry her off. First impulse to shrug off prejudiced comments, second thoughts, 'How will my child cope with this? What if these people get the upper hand?'; attempt to inform son of noble Jewish heritage. Father's expansion of cattle-ranching activities during Depression, ungrading of scrub herds by purebred interbreeding; consequent conception of marriage partners as breeding partners, 'the fact that my husband is a Jew and does have obvious intellectual stature definitely influenced my decision to marry him'. TAPE TWO Similarity of maternal instinct in subject and wild range cattle, sense of community with cows. Fulfilment of independent desires before marriage, consequent abiIity to settle down; memory of previous satisfied interests as a supportive mental resource throughout motherhood. Motherhood as subject's vocation; rage (aet. 25) against recurring menstrual periods, when she might have been actively child-bearing; rejected temptation to satisfy maternal longings as single parent. Strong recommendation of motherhood, fear that careerists sacrifice motherhood 'to rather banal alternatives'; acceptance of career-motherhood combinations, condemnation of housework as idiot work. Concept of son as her contribution to society, 'something"worthy of me and humanity'. Cultural differences with husband over son's upbringing: husband's rejection of child-rearing role, excessive regard for cleanliness; positive role as responsible adult male, 'something for Robin to measure himself up against'. Delayed role-reversal therapy in interviewer's parents' marriage. Age-gap of 16 years between subject and elder husband; husband's forceful personality, subject's lack of energy to resist him as well as cope with new baby, shift in marital balance as child grows older . Feminist slander of children as cause, not result, of mothers' lack of successful careers. Subject's admittedly elitist concern that middle­class people are ceasing to reproduce themselves in sufficient quantities. Influence of Queen's economics course, Prof. Frank Knox: 'nothing takes place in this world until there is a margin', realisation that one child was all she could handle while retaining a margin of personal energy; teaching job as a practical extension of maternal feelings, allowing both retention of sanity and financial reimbursement. Satisfaction of personal contribution to son's excellent vocabulary. Hereditary basis of mental sanity. Queen's student lack of interest in Viet Nam war (1960s); personal desire to ignore suffering she couldn't remedy; ambition to serve third world countries in Canada after raising son. Strong sense of Canadian identity, thwarted desire to work for Canadian unity; sense of exile, wasted ability in USA, lack of desire to contribute to American society; residence in US because of husband's unacceptability (as foreigner) to Canadian employers. Dislike of ignoble anti-American element in Canadian nationalism; gratitude for decent treatment at hands of Americans; partiality to Canada notwithstanding, 'I was an Expo hostess with a vengeance'. Dedication to Expo effort shared with French Canadian supervisors; fanatic 'sergeant-major' role disciplining junior hostesses. Expectation that she will survive husband, future plan to return to Canada (not to severe prairie climate); tenacious loyalty of evacuated Norwegians resettling northland settlements burned by retreating German army (1945). Attendance at Norwegian summer school, discovery of self as 'auditory learner'; single expression breakthrough into Norwegian speech cadences, similar experience learning French.//Period 'at loose ends' after university, feeling she should be married; extensive travel through Europe, Middle East, return to Canada; employment with beloved French Canadian film distributor; Expo job. Marriage, emigration to Brazil, acquisition of Portuguese language; transfer to California awaiting job opening; husband's difficulties as strong-willed intellectual sans university degree, 'nobody believes in natural ability anymore'.